It gets easier....

As the clock on your life ticks every problem that you encounter seems to get easier to handle, don't ask me how, but it does, at least it did for me.

May be I stopped caring about what the world thinks of what I do and me. I stopped letting people baby me and telling me what is the best possible way to do something. Do not get me wrong I still seek out advice to this day but then at the end, any decision I make is all me.

I have had a fair share of decisions made for me while growing up (may be a factor of being the youngest in a typical tam-bram household), most of them worked for me in my favor, but the ones that didn't, blew up in all our faces. Now who do I blame for this? Who takes responsibility for it? Me or the others who made the decision for me? I have somehow made peace with those blown up decisions but the others who made those decisions still, to day beat themselves up for it.  No matter how much I try to placate them, they continue to hold themselves responsible for it. How fair is that to me (I might sound selfish with that statement but give it a thought, their chastising themselves, weighs heavily on me)

Taking responsibility for your decisions is one half , the other half is being able to forgive yourself when things do not go as you wished/hoped for. It can be a quick spiral down if you do not learn to do that. It doesn't come easy. Forgiving oneself is much harder than forgiving another person for making a wrong decision. Maybe, it is just me, that tine voice pipes up every now and then- "You messed up, you should have known better, have you not learnt anything?" It can be quite chaotic and frustrating till you come to peace with yourself. I realized the easiest way to do it way to tell myself, what I learnt from the mistake (it is invariably a new mistake I make, what is life without some variety eh?).
This is why I feel, it gets better, it gets easier as long as you are the only one you are hoping to please because you really do not need to justify what you do to yourself. Just figure out your way of apologizing to yourself when you mess up. Also, as human beings we are all selfish enough to look out for our best interests.Who better to look out for yourself than you?