charade

Tears well up

why do I cry?

whom do I cry for?

Is it something I miss?

Is it someone whom I think of?

Silent tears roll down

but there is never a frown

For I must smile for the world to see

For I must never show my tears

Lest the world takes me to be weak

The joy is all gone,

the innocence is all lost

I see the world as is

Cruel and cold

Smile I must to this world

Laugh I must at this world

For little do they know

When I step out

There is a mask I wear

There is a charade that I play

To dance and sway to these worldly ways

thoughts

Thoughts running through my head

All kinds of them,

the good ones and the bad ones

the mean ones and the cruel ones

few make me smile

some make me cry

some make me want to hide and never see the world again

lots so bad that they make me cringe in pain

Thoughts chasing me all the time

I want to hide from them

They make me do what I do

They make me say what I say

They make me the person I am

These thoughts that make me cry

These thoughts that me make me feel lost

These thoughts that me want to end my thoughts

These thoughts that make me want to end this

all of this

there seems like only one way

The one that will end all this

Finish it all

Then I will sleep in peace

Peace that can not be touched by these thoughts

Forever and Ever!

Fleeting is what it is

I try to catch it and it slips

I chase it and it flies

All that it leaves are impressions

Memories are all that I have!

Of the good ones and the bad ones!

All I want is to relive them again

Not one thing do I wish to change

I know you love me

I want to tell you before it ever is too late

From the moment I was born

Memories of you are all that keep me alive.

For you I live

For you I'll kill

For you die I also will

For you brought life to me

For you made me smile

For you made the hardest seem possible!

The memories of you that I have will always help me go an extra mile!!

You make the darkest hour seem bright

You help me deal with everything that is not right

You rekindle the hope that has died

You tell me that everything will be alright.

Where are those days that just slipped away

Those days spent in laughter and joy.

I know you are no memory

You have not left

I will be back once again

To make some more memories

Or maybe take a piece of you with me

So that stay you will with me

Forever and ever.

So that I can love you

Forever and ever!!

You!

I love you!

Everything that is you,

Everything that is around you,

Everything that I am because of you,

So much of love that I do not know what to do!

So much that it made you ask me what will you do with so much of love?

So much of love but still not enough to love the whole of you

And smile is all I could do.

My love for you-

grows each time I see you

deepens when you are not around

rises like an ocean when I think of you

feels like the sweet rain drops on me when you hold.

With a hope I live that

someday you will know how much I love you.

someday I will be seen by you.

someday I will be loved by you.

Until then I keep going

because to know you in this lifetime is like being loved by YOU!!

Indifference

I stand and I see

I see nothing but darkness all around me,

The darkness keeps closing in on me

And I thought It was my enemy

Till I realized

It was the only friend I ever had.

A friend whom I could trust

A friend whom I could love

A friend who would never leave

It keeps me in a comfortable cocoon of darkness

Away from all the pain and hurt

All I hear is the beat of my heart,

And feel my emotions die by a part.

I emerge with a smile on my face and my friend on my side

It is a part of me that no one can divide.

All that is left is an aura of serene

Aloof and cold that I had never been.

Warm sunshine that I used to be

has become the icy indifferent me!!

Darkness of life

There I stood staring down

Thinking of all that had been going on

All that had gone wrong

All the thoughts rushing into my head

Filling my heart with hatred

Hate so much

That no love can touch

Where has all the love gone?

Where are my emotions?

Hate so much

Hate so strong!!

keep losing faith day after day

keep losing trust more everyday

I have no reason to trust anyone

No reason to love anyone

because one day they will be gone

I have come to believe

I do not have anyone but me!